Breathe
by Red Ink Madame
Summary: Even though she's scared out of her mind, he keeps her grounded. He keeps her sane and gives her strength when she's just about to give in. Sure, she's through with being polite and she's in complete warrior queen mode. But it's also wearing her out and sometimes she forgets to just breathe.


_For marysunshine81, who left me the most wonderful review and whom wanted more stories about Diane._

_Loosely follows the events and timeline following from 5.04 onwards. Set into the future of season 5. Call it an aberration if you like. The title comes from the song, Breathe (2AM) by Anna Nalick._

* * *

She's jolted awake in her sleep from a bad, yet familiar dream. Glancing at the clock, she can barely tell what time It is. But she's pretty sure it's says 3 AM.

Lately, she hasn't been sleeping properly. Her sleep restless, filled with dreams that quickly turn to nightmares. She's had these kind of dreams before. Before, they used to be about her losing the judgeship and now they're about her losing the firm.

The dreams scare her because they seem so real and in some way she can't help but think that they are foreboding. After all, she's already lost the judgeship, in what she thinks of,as a cruel twist of irony.

She's come close to losing the firm before, but the stakes are higher now. It's all or nothing and she's completely in. She knows that she isn't alone in her battle and that's a comfort at least.

But the thought of losing her firm completely scares her beyond belief. Months ago,she was preparing to step aside, but then she was certain that Will would carry on without her and that the firm would always be there. But things are different now and she's not sure they'll survive a re-build.

His arms are still wrapped around her and she can't help but smile. Even though she's scared out of her mind, he keeps her grounded. He keeps her sane and gives her strength when she's just about to give in. Sure, she's through with being polite and she's in complete warrior queen mode. But it's also wearing her out and sometimes she forgets to just breathe.

Rolling over in his arms, her eyes meet his. She can see love and concern and she can't help the look of guilt that flashes in her eyes.

"Did I wake you?" She asks as he shakes his head, despite the fact that she know it's a lie.

"Bad dream?" He asks, as he moves his arm slightly and runs his hand soothingly along her arm.

She nods and doesn't say anything as she curls in towards him. Her head resting against his chest. His constant rhythmic heartbeat soothing her just slightly. He places a kiss on the top of her head as he gently rubs her back.

She hasn't told him what jolts her awake at night, the dreams that haunt her, nor the fear that grips her at thought of losing something she's spent her life trying to build.

Eventually, her breathing evens out and he knows she fallen asleep, his hand still resting against her back. Even though he's still slightly groggy. He won't fall asleep until he knows she's okay. He knows he can't protect her and he's not that kind of man. He knows that she's always been her own person and he can't help but respect that. He also knows that she is fearless and strong-willed and he loves that. But sometimes he wishes that he could somehow lure her away. Completely put their lives first before everyone and everything else. But, he knows that the firm is her life. It always has been and it always will. But then he can't exactly say that she's chosen it over him. He's never been the insecure or jealous type and he knows he never will be.

She's chosen to spend her life with him and he knows for her marriage was a pretty big step. She's learned to rely on him a little more, let him offer her love and support and learnt to completely trust him. He knows it's a big deal for her to love and be loved. But he knows he wouldn't have it any other way.

Eventually sleeps begins to tug at him and he fights to keep his eyes open until he eventually loses the battle and sleep takes hold. His arms wrapping around her once more.

_One night,_  
_I will wake up at three AM_  
_And I will roll over_  
_Into your arms._  
_You will rub my back_  
_Until I fall back to sleep._  
_I will wait for that._  
_- knotsandwaves via tumblr_

* * *

_The above quote was actually the inspiration and muse for this story._


End file.
